Children and Worship: Liturgy and Imagination
Taken from : http://www.christchurchws.org/pastors-blog/154-children-and-worship-liturgy-and-imagination
Written by Ben Sharpe, the rector of my in-laws AMIA church in Winston-Salem NC.
I sometimes hear the concern that the Sunday-to-Sunday sameness of the liturgy will become boring for children and thus their minds and hearts will wander. I have several responses to this. To begin with, the Sunday service does indeed have elements that are the same from week to week. The structure of the service always begins with the ministry of the Word (the Bible is read and then preached), which leads to the service of the Table where we celebrate the mystery of Holy Communion. However, within that consistent structure the liturgy is changing season to season and in some cases week to week.
Also, we need to remember that boredom is an occupational hazard of childhood. Just think about it: An hour is a much greater fraction of a five-year-old’s life than it is for a fifty-year-old. Try to remember just how long an hour seemed to last – or a day for that matter – when you were a small child. Moreover, an average Sunday service at Christ Church lasts ninety minutes. For a five-year-old, an hour and a half is like an eternity! Now here is the conundrum: for some reason, many of our little ones don’t seem to be excessively bored during the liturgy. In fact, something is happening that literally has some of them on the edge of their seats.
You see, what is actually transpiring with our small children during the liturgy is not excruciating boredom, but the forming and sanctifying of their imaginations. Yes, little ones are led out of the service during preaching so they can participate in an age appropriate application of the Scriptures they heard read during the service. Then they return to the service for the celebration of Holy Communion. But when they are in the service they are deeply engaged with a form of worship that is inherently kinetic and multi-sensory. When I say it is kinetic, I mean that liturgical worship is filled with movement: we process (we have a parade every Sunday!), stand, sit, kneel, cross ourselves, lift up hands in praise and prayer, open our mouths to sing and praise God, offer gestures of reconciliation and love at the Passing of the Peace, etc.
Likewise our worship is also a rich multi-sensory experience: We see the multitude of symbols present in the worship space. We hear music, singing, the Word of God read and proclaimed, and the ancient prayers of the church mingled with the extemporaneous prayers of the people. We smell and taste the bread and wine through which we encounter Christ’s real presence mysteriously. From time to time, we even have our sense of smell inundated with the aroma of incense used during special occasions, like Easter Vigil and Christmas. We feel the warmth of the bodies next to us in the pews, the embrace of Christian brothers and sisters, the wetness of the holy water in the fonts located at the entrances to the worship space.
All of the movement and sensory stimulation of worship are directed toward the end of glorifying the living God we have come to know in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. And our children love it! They love to worship God like this because this is how imaginations are formed and informed. Worship on Sunday morning is actually a form of play! It is a joyful, holy, solemn frolic that has all the elements needed to capture a child’s heart and mind and body – with one provision: the structure of our liturgy, and we as worshipers, must be open to God’s Spirit.
As long as the service is structured to invite the Holy Spirit to breathe life into the liturgy, and as long as the adults that surround our children are open to worshiping God in spirit and in truth, then our children will have their imaginations captivated by the beauty and vitality of “ancient/future” worship.
Moreover, this kind of spiritual formation will not remain confined to church on Sunday mornings, but will begin to permeate a child’s life so that the holy play of worship becomes the foundation for play at home. I’ll say more about that in my next post.
Finally, imaginations formed by this kind of prayer and praise are open to the deep truths of God’s Word expressed in the teaching of the Church through the ages. And those who embrace that truth, young or old, will find that they have been equipped by the Holy Spirit to show forth God’s praise, not only with their lips, but in their lives, by giving up their selves to his service and walking before him in holiness and righteousness all their days.
Ben+
5 Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Church
From the Resurgence blog. Very important to consider…
1. Make sure your faith is only something you live out in public
Go to church… at least most of the time. Make sure you agree with what you hear the preacher say, and affirm on the way home what was said especially when it has to do with your kids obeying, but let it stop there. Don’t read your Bible at home. The pastor will say everything you need to hear on Sundays. Don’t engage your children in questions they have concerning Jesus and God. Live like you want to live during the week so that your kids can see that duplicity is ok.
2. Pray only in front of people
The only times you need to pray are when your family is over, holiday meals, when someone is sick, and when you want something. Besides that, don’t bother. Your kids will see you pray when other people are watching, no need to do it with them in private.
3. Focus on your morals
Make sure you insist your kids be honest with you. Let them know it is the right thing for them to do, but then feel free to lie in your own life and disregard the need to tell them and others the truth. Get very angry with your children when they say words that are “naughty” and “bad”, but post, read, watch, and say whatever you want on TV, Facebook, and Twitter. Make sure you focus on being a good person. Be ambiguous about what this means.
4. Give financially as long as it doesn’t impede your needs
Make a big deal out of giving at church. Stress the need to your children the value of tithing, while not giving sacrificially yourself. Allow them to see you spend a ton of money on what you want, while negating your command from Scripture to give sacrificially.
5. Make church community a priority… as long as there is nothing else you want to do
Hey, you are a church going family, right? I mean, that’s what you tell your friends and family anyways. Make sure you attend on Sundays. As long as you didn’t stay up too late Saturday night. Or your family isn’t having a big barbeque. Or the big game isn’t on. Or this week you just don’t feel like it. Or… I mean, you’re a church-going family, so what’s the big deal?
Create in me a Clean Heart O God
Singing in Family Worship
Create in me a clean heart O God, so begins the 10th verse of Psalm 51. This is the psalm of Lent and one that we want our children to know and to pray. Thus for the Gaillards, this is the song of Lent this year.
At the Family Summit, I spoke to you of singing during family worship. Here is an example below of “how to”: the youtube link and the words are all you need to add this to your family worship. The amazing thing is that Cate (2.5) is already getting the words after just one week. We are singing this at breakfast and at bedtime. You might remember this song as one sung during communion this past Sunday.
Praying for your Family Worship,
Fr Shay +
Create in me a Clean Heart
(Keith Green)
Create in me a clean heart oh God
And renew a right spirit within me
Create in me a clean heart oh God
And renew a right spirit within me
Cast me not away
From thy presence oh Lord
Take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation
And renew a right spirit within me
Truthcards.org
Heard about these yesterday at the Family Summit. Developed here in Charleston and great for teaching children of all ages the Scriptures. Only $20 for a set.
This is from the website:
Truthcards originated from the principle in 2 Timothy 3:15, “From infancy, you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught him the Holy Scriptures when he was young and he became a third-generation Christ follower. As parents, we have the opportunity and responsibility to sow the Word of God into our children. One way we can do our part in leading our children to the Lord is by establishing a firm foundation of Scripture knowledge in their lives. From infancy, we can infuse the practice of speaking God’s word as part of everyday conversations. From toddlerhood, our children can actually start to memorize the scriptures. As they grow and go out into this world, the Truth of God will be written on their hearts and they will have the firm foundation needed to help them stand strong in their faith. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) From infancy to adulthood, the Word of God is beneficial in our lives. Truthcards are designed to help build a foundation of faith from the start.
Each packet contains:
- (52) 4×6 scripture cards
- (42) with corresponding pictures,
- (10) customizable friend & family cards
- 50 photo corners for customizable cards
- Ideas for activities and helpful hints
The What, When, and How of Family Worship
Same author as yesterday. Great information. Join us for the Family Summit…only 2 days to go
Few of us who grew up in homes that practiced family worship. So let’s look at a few practical helps that may aid our families in this new journey.
Find the Best Time
This is trial and error, but most families function better at certain times during the day than others. Some children (and parents!) do not do well in the early morning hours. They are tired and grouchy. If that is the case in your home, then don’t try and do family worship at that time. Try different times of the day and see what works best for everyone. Every family is different.
Meet at the Same Time
I usually schedule out my week. I have different activities appointed at different times and inevitably have “family time” penciled in for 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. or something similar. When my wife is feeling a little neglected she will say, “You have to schedule your family?” She is joking, but if she was serious I would have to reply, “Yes.” Otherwise, other things begin to encroach upon this time. There are many good things that can and will fill our schedules. Therefore, if we don’t pencil in the things that matter the most, they often get neglected and suffer at the expense of other things in our life. Family worship must be scheduled. That does not mean that it has to be at 6 p.m. every night. It is a “semi-fixed” time. There are some nights that dinner isn’t over by 6 p.m. Don’t be rigid, but do have a consistent and routine time that your family knows they will be gathering for worship.
Meet in the Same Place
Some families gather around the kitchen or dining room table. Others may choose to sit in the living room or on the back porch. It doesn’t really matter where you do family worship. It just helps if the “where” is consistent in your home. This is especially helpful for young children. My children know that when we say it is time for family worship we are gathering in the family room. Children thrive in the known and regular.
Start Slow
We are beginning the process of returning the church to this necessary discipline. Hopefully our children will be able to take it a step farther, but for most of us this is a new thing. Therefore, do not expect too much too early or even expect too much from your family in the long run. Many heads of homes (especially fathers) will be convicted about the need for family worship and begin to lead their families in it with too much zeal. Fathers, don’t ask your children to start memorizing Leviticus in the first few weeks of family worship! Just start by reading a small portion of Scripture, praying a short prayer, and singing a hymn. As everyone in the family grows in worshiping together there will be the ability and desire to make it fuller.
Make It Brief
Family worship should not be a burden, and many times we make it a burden by making it too long. Young families especially need to keep this in mind due to their children. Those just beginning family worship would also be well-advised to keep it short. It is amazing how much quality worship can take place in 15 or 20 minutes. The length of time of our family worship is not a commentary on our family’s maturity in the faith. Longer doesn’t always mean better.
Make It a Priority
It must be a priority in the home. This means that we can’t allow other activities to fill our schedules. A family that is seldom home together is a family that cannot worship together. Reading the Bible on the way to gymnastics or soccer practice does not count! The modern-day Christian needs to hear this: busyness (even with church activities) does not equal godliness.
Be Flexible
Having argued for the importance of establishing a time for family worship, we must underscore the importance of being flexible in our approach to family worship. There will be days when it just doesn’t work. If this is a regular occurrence, then we may need to adjust when we are having family worship or where we are having it. However, some days it just won’t work at all. That is fine! It is a means of grace, not a burden that our family is to struggle under.
Model the Right Attitude
Our attitudes have a lot to do with our experiences. And others are always watching our attitudes. Husbands should model the right attitude before their wives, and parents should model the right attitude before their children. Children are incredibly intuitive. They know when mom and dad are going through the motions or begrudgingly calling the family together in worship. It is quite another thing altogether when mom and dad talk about looking forward to worship and exercise a consistent joy and desire for family worship.
Persevere
Maybe the most important advice for family worship is to persevere in it. There will be moments and even weeks where it seems like a chore and that little fruit is being born: your toddler has trouble sitting still, your teenager complains every night, or the tune keeps getting lost in the middle of singing. Just keep going! You are not alone, and your situation is not unique. Just keep gathering with your family in worship. Perseverance is the best remedy for all these ills. Over the course of time, most of these struggles will be overcome, and fruit that was invisible at the time will begin to show itself in the future.
Jason Helopoulos is church planter and pastor of Providence PCA in East Lansing, Michigan. He and his wife, Leah, are blessed with two children.
11 Reasons to Worship with your Family
I did not write this list but I wish I had. It is very clear and helpful. One of the topics we will take up at the Family Summit is Family Worship
Only 3 Days to go…
Worshiping together as a family was not something that began easily for us. Even as a pastor, I felt awkward in the beginning leading my family in worship (especially in singing!). However, it has now become part of our family life. No, it is more than just part—it is at the very center of what it means for us to be a family. It is a now a joy, and the moments are not so awkward as they once were. A Christian home must be centered upon Christ, and if it is centered upon Christ, then it will be filled with worship.
Most evangelical Christians are aware of the importance of secret and corporate worship, but fewer have even heard of family worship. What is family worship? It is pretty simple. Tonight, sit down with your family on the couch or at the dinner table. And then . . . pray together, read the Bible together, and sing a great hymn of the faith together. There are many reasons for doing family worship, but let us just mention a handful. Family worship:
- Encourages Christian Character – The home may be the hardest place to live out our Christian lives. There is a reason that Paul addresses each member of the Christian family in the household passages of Ephesians 5-6 and Colossians 3. It is a sad reality that we often manifest the character of Christ more consistently at church, in the workplace, and in the community then we do in our own homes. If there is somewhere that I must especially be on guard against sin, the flesh, and our adversary, it is at home. Casualness and familiarity is a ready playing field for sin.
- Encourages Peace in the Home – We are sinners living under the same roof in tight quarters. That is a recipe for disaster or at least pain! We know our family members, and we know them well. Family worship helps us confront our sin and understand its effect upon one another. For example, it is awfully hard for a father to lead his family in worship when he has just yelled at his wife. If he is going to lead his family before the throne of grace, he will first have to ask for forgiveness from his wife. And she will find that it is hard to worship unless she willingly forgives him.
- Binds the Family Together – In our fast-moving society there are few things that a family does together daily. Even eating a meal together these days seems like a feat. What if your family gathered together daily? And what if that gathering was for worship? It would become the most important and central aspect of its life. Your entire family will come to the realization that no matter what else we do or don’t do, the most important thing that marks us as a family is that we are a worshiping family submitted to Christ. And that bond is an eternal one that strengthens the family in all its other endeavors.
- Provides Common Knowledge – As the Scriptures are read together in family worship, the family grows in common knowledge. Conversations around the dinner table or in the car will change dramatically as you have a common knowledge from which to converse.
- Trains Children for Corporate Worship – Family worship provides the added benefit of training our children for corporate worship. As they sit and listen to the Word of God, hear prayers, and sing hymns these elements in corporate worship will take on a new meaning. The value of this cannot be overestimated.
- Encourages our Children in Christ – They will see that for mom and dad worship is not just something they do on Sunday mornings. It is something at the very core of their being, important enough that they center their home upon it. We are not raising children just to be moral and competent people, but worshipers of the triune God.
- Reinforces Spiritual Headship – Family worship reinforces the biblical framework of the family as it looks to the father (or the mother if she is single) as the spiritual leader of the home. As a father leads his children and wife before God’s throne nightly and disciples them in the things of Christ, they will increasingly look to him for spiritual leadership. This has the added benefit of reinforcing with the father/husband the spiritual mantle that is upon his shoulders.
- Provides Systematic Discipleship – As a pastor I often have individuals approach me with a question about how to minister to their children or spouse in a specific area. Usually they are concerned about a particular sin or struggle in their family member’s life. In this way we serve as firefighters rushing to extinguish this issue or that. At times this is needed, but it should not be our regular course of action. Systematic discipleship is a much better approach and is aided by family worship. Daily family worship will provide a strong foundation that is built upon hearing the Word daily, praying daily, and giving thanks daily. It takes time to build a strong house. It is an unsteady house that is the result of the carpenter running from shaky wall to shaky wall to hammer a nail in here or there.
- Provides Generational Testimony – One of the greatest benefits of family worship is the actual passing on of our faith to the next generation. We are teaching our children how to read the Scriptures, pray, confess their sins, sing unto God, and more. Our children will leave the home with memories of this daily worship. They will have learned by watching and participating how to search the Bible, intercede for their future children, and rejoice in God. And by God’s grace and mercy they will carry it to the next generation of our families.
Now that we’re considered the “why” of family worship, tomorrow we’ll explore the “how.”
Jason Helopoulos is church planter and pastor of Providence PCA in East Lansing, Michigan. He and his wife, Leah, are blessed with two children.
VisionaryFam.com
Friends,
God used Rob Rienow and the Visionary Parenting course to put me and my family on the road to living out the D6-E6 vision. I am so thankful for Rob and his ministry. This new website has tremendous resources and I highly recommend parents and grandparents spend some time perusing it.
Remember only 4 days until the Family Summit. Let us know if you are coming…
Countdown to Family Summit – Why Argue?
Why argue? D6-E6
I have had several conversations with parents and church leaders recently that have reminded me of the argument that inevitably arises in our hearts when we want to resist God’s Word. It does not have anything to do with Family Ministry per se because any topic that the Bible teaches clearly on can be a source of resistance for our sinful hearts.
The conversation (a compilation of many) begins something like this: “Family worship does not work for our family. I always feel uncomfortable when I’m teaching my children about spiritual matters. Why can’t the church provide some classes or a program for the youth?”
There are many good answers to be given, but at the heart of most questions of this nature is an argument with God. When a question of this nature is raised, I want to respond that your argument is with God not with me or the church. He lays it our clearly in His word.
There are many passages and ways to attack this “strategy” question of family ministry, but let me just start with the D6-E6 path from Old to New Testament. D6 is Deuteronomy 6:6-7 which teaches that the commandment to love the Lord your God with everything you have is to be on your heart and you are to teach it to your children. No options. Just you, the parent, are to teach it to your children. E6 is Ephesians 6:4 which confirms D6 by instructing fathers to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Why argue? God empowers us to do everything that he commands. Trace the D6-E6 thread through the Bible and let’s get started. The Family Summit is just 7 days away…Join us!
Family Summit Countdown – 11 days away
Why Parental Blessing?
Today at a local coffee shop, I sat with a close friend talking about the power and necessity of Parental Blessing. Just under five years ago, this simple and profound practice was not a regular part of the spiritual growth of my family. Today, I can honestly say that nothing is so powerful as speaking words of blessing over your child in a regular, intentional fashion. Parental Blessing is one of the key actions that we are encouraging our parents of young children to begin and continue. There is no age that it is too late to begin. It just helps to build it in from the beginning.
No matter how well you discipline as a parent and how well-behaved your children are, you will find yourself giving all kinds of negative messages during the day. “Don’t do that!” “Stop” “What were you thinking?” What more powerful way to close the day than to place your hand on your child’s head, and ask the God who created and loves this child more than you to pour out His heavenly blessings upon her (him). As you pray, you speak the prophetic words of future blessing on your child as the Lord shows you who he is shaping her (him) to be.
When this becomes a regular practice, your children expect it, relish it, and ask for it. They even offer it back to you.
4 Steps to Get Started with Parental Blessings:
1) Trust that God will speak through you because He lives in you by the Holy Spirit
2) Think about each child to be blessed. What is God doing in his/her life? How can I encourage and strengthen them in Christ?
3) In a quiet moment, tell your child that you know that God wants to bless them and that you would like to give them a blessing.
4) Place your hand on their forehead or shoulder and let God use you to change your child’s life. Speak simply and from the heart.
Hope to see you at the Family Summit… Sunday March 13 from 4-5:30 pm. Please let us know if you are coming.
Countdown to Family Summit
Our Family Summit is March 13 and in an effort to whet your appetite, I am going to try and post several short articles related to family ministry in the upcoming days.
Statement: “Family Worship is the Gateway to Sunday Worship”
When I first heard this concept taught, Rob Rienow was rocking my world through the video series “Visionary Parenting.” That was almost five years ago, but the relationship of family worship to Sunday worship continues to make sense to me. The basic idea is this: if your child only experiences worship for one hour on Sunday mornings, it will always be an alien and uncomfortable experience. It will also belie the fact that worship is not of central importance. Things that are really important we do way more often…watch football, soccer practice, eat, floss, TV, video games, etc… So Rob proposes and I agree that if you or your child has trouble focusing in Sunday worship, it probably has a lot to do with neglect of family worship.
Let me give a few suggestions for Family Worship that will hopefully demystify an activity with which many of us did not grow up:
1) Family Worship is not long. It should probably not be more than five minutes for younger children and no more than fifteen for the teens.
2) Family Worship is not complex. It should include three elements; Bible reading with some discussion, Singing, and Prayer. None of the three has to be elaborate or professional just heartfelt.
3) Family Worship is not difficult. We have resources to help you with every age and every question.
The hardest thing about Family Worship is getting started. Find a time and a place and trust the Lord. You will be blessed! You will also notice that your children (and you) will be more attuned to Sunday morning.
12 days to go…
Family Shepherds 