Reflections on an Accident

“Reflections on an Accident”

Brothers and Sisters,

That is what it was…an accident. The details are this: Wednesday afternoon leaving the church to meet a friend at T-Bonz for lunch, I came to the stop sign at the end of Miles Drive trying to turn left onto Hwy. 171. When I looked before I accelerated, I saw no one. A woman driving in the left lane headed in the same direction as I intended to go hit my rear passenger tire full force. The impact blew out the tire and I lost control of my truck. The truck swerved off of the road, over the sidewalk and into the ditch. Both the woman driver and I were miraculously well except for being shaken up. It was my fault.

Whenever events like this occur, I believe that it is important to reflect on the meaning. Here are some reflections from your grateful rector:

Why I was prepared to die: Because of Jesus Christ’s shed blood on the Cross, all my sins are forgiven and I have a place in God’s family for all eternity. Whether I live or die, I am Christ’s.

Why I was not ready to die: Tara, Ann Claire, Mary Foster, Eliza, Cate, Mom and Dad, my sisters, nieces and nephews, parents in law, sisters in law, friends, The Church of the Good Shepherd, the work at Camp St. Christopher, Ministry in the West Ashley Community and the Diocese of South Carolina.

What I learned about me: I am not careful enough when I drive. I should have been wearing my seatbelt and paying more attention. My faults and shortcomings greatly affect the lives of others. I am a sinner. Many people care about me and my life (thanks to all who knew about the wreck and said so). I am loved.

**What I learned but already knew about God: He is good! He is full of grace. His hand is mighty to save. He is sovereign and in control of all things. He loves his children. When I got out of my truck and climbed out of the ditch, I realized that the oak tree that rested against my truck was just inches from impacting my door and only a foot from being head-on. I knew that the Lord had saved me (as He is doing always and everyday). The fact that I suffered no physical injuries is a sign of the love of God in the life of a sinful servant.

God loves you this much too. We have much for which to be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Shay +

My 3rd Adopted Daughter

Many of you who know the Gaillards know that we have four daughters, but what you might not know is that we also have just adopted our third daughter. When we entered seminary, the Lord showed me that if my oldest daughter’s life was going to be world-focused and not just provincial, we had to begin to make connections beyond the USA. I had worked with Compassion as a youth minister and knew the trustworthiness of their ministry. My wife and I decided together that we would adopt for our daughters a sister in the Dominican Republic on their 5th birthday. They would write and pray for this Dominican child who in each case is very near their age. My promise to them is that I would take them to the DR to visit their sister when they were old enough. When they begin to work, they will be responsible for paying part of the sponsorship. In the meantime, this was a great discipline for my wife and me:  not just raising children in the wealth of the USA but committing ourselves financially and prayerfully to raise children out of poverty in the name of Jesus Christ.

My #3 daughter turns 5 in November, my wife and I have just sponsored Maria on behalf of Eliza. My eyes filled with tears and my heart was grateful that the Lord had once again allowed us to show His love to someone in need. My older daughters have started secretly praying for Maria when Eliza is not around so as not to spoil the surpise. I cannot wait to introduce Eliza to Maria on November 23.

At Good Shepherd, we are seeking to raise a generation of “World-changing Children.” One simple way to do that is to sponsor a child through Compassion.  If every Christian sponsored one child per family, what a different world it would be!

What a joy,
Shay +

Five Causes of Anger

Some parents have a hard time analyzing their anger to get anything positive out of it. A helpful way to uncover whats behind your anger is to recognize angers five basic causes. These five causes overlap at points and you may find that the situation youre experiencing fits more than one, but this list is often helpful to bring some rationale to feelings. Use these causes to guide your self-reflection when you start to feel angry and then move into a more healthy response.

1. Physical Pain – When a child hits you or you step on a sharp toy, your anger may, in part, be fueled by the physical pain you experience.

2. Blocked Goals – Trying to leave the house by 7:35 am and turning to see that your three-year-old took her shoes off again can lead to anger.

3. Violated Rights – When her five-year-old is knocking on the bathroom door, a mom may feel angry and think, I have the right to go to the bathroom in peace. A dad may believe that he has a right to come home and have a few minutes to relax in quiet before taking on family problems

4. Unfairness – When a mom sees a big brother picking on his sister, or a younger child harassing an older one, she may get angry because of the obvious unfairness of the situation. A dad may feel its unfair that he has to help bathe the kids after putting in a hard days work.

5. Unmet Expectations – A mom might say, I expected to arrive home from work to cook dinner, but instead I come home to this mess! Unmet expectations seem to go along with the job of parenting but often result in angry feelings.

Discovering what is causing your angry feelings will often help you see where your child needs to grow or change, giving you more insight into how to discipline most effectively. Understanding the five causes of anger can help you as you relate to your family.

Each time you feel angry, stop for a minute and try to identify which of these is the cause. Putting a label on your feelings may help you redirect some of that energy to a more productive response. You may begin to see patterns in yourself and identify one particular cause that is more common for you. This observation can help you know how to adjust your reaction.

This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

I’m taking Fatherhood 101, and a seminar in Human Husbandry…

So they don’t teach you how to be a father or a husband in school…

Yet, most women become wives and mothers, and most men become husbands and fathers.   Where do they learn the skills, goals, techniques and requirements?  You guessed it, from watching their parents mostly.

Do you remember your reaction when material that you didn’t think would be on the test, is on the test?   Isn’t that the same thing that happens to everyone upon becoming parents?

“You mean when I was being raised, I was supposed to be absorbing parenting simply by watching my parents like a hawk as they were parenting me?”  …”I didn’t know this would be on the test!”

The action most new parents take is also similar to a student suddenly realizing they are under-prepared.

1. Cram..Buy a parenting book (or a bunch)

2. Phone a friend… (call your parents and ask for a crash course)

3. Wing it! – do the best you can with what you know

There is a better way.

As parents, you can teach your children what it means to be a wife or husband.  You can teach them what it means to be a mother or father.  It takes preparation, it takes effort, and it takes words.  There is more to learning than modeling.  Modeling the best practices is a wonderful and important thing for you to do, however, taking your children aside and talking about what they will do when they are a spouse or a parent is what is missing.  They don’t teach that in schools.  Currently, they don’t teach it in homes either.

The job of preparing children for life falls to parents.  Please consider how to best prepare them for the most important jobs in life.

-Jamie Sosnowski

The Church is a family of families

Every person is a part of a family.  There are single adults who come to our churches alone and live hundreds, or thousands of miles away from the rest of their family. Nevertheless, they have a family.  Moreover, we all have responsibilities to and opportunities within our families.  Through the ‘family of families’ concept, we are merely trying ot impress upon people the importance of viewing the home as the primary launching pad for the gospel in everyday life.

Whether it is daily family worship, the education of our children in the home, or the ministry of hospitality (with a view toward sharing the gospel with our neighbors in the context of our homes), we use the ‘family of families’ concept to help people understand that the church is not a building where people go to meet; nor is it an organization charged with the evangelization of the nations. On the contrary, the church is a body of believers, all of whom come from, live in, and/or will more than likely establish…families.  What a great tool for spreading the gospel:

Parents, children, servants, slaves, visitors, relatives and friends all heard the gospel preached in the environment of the home, and there Paul generally made his first converts… The first and most basic lessons concerning the nature of the church as the household of God (Gal. 6:10; Eph. 2:19) were taught at the very beginning of the Pauling mission in each city as the faith was planted in the extended family of the Greek household.  There, along God-appointed covenant lines, the gospel could travel its swiftest course until even distant relatives might be converted.  (Greenway & Monsma)

There has only been one man in history who did not have a family.  Interestingly, this man’s ‘aloneness’ was the occasion upon which God first used the phrase, “it is not good…” (Genesis 2:18) Moreover, God soon remedied Adam’s aloneness by making “a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). Since then, we have all been born into families.

As a church, we simply prefer this ‘biblical’ category to the ones forced upon us by the culture. Thus, if we have to choose between a structure that resembles the modernist, secular humanist government education system (divided by age/clique in a Sunday “school”) and the one found everywhere in Scripture, we choose the latter; not as an attempt to redefine the nature and essense of the church, but simply to reassess its structure. All of this is done with a view toward fulfulling the Great Commission with the greatest possible fidelity to the text.  If our ‘family of families’ terminology has communicated anything else, please forgive us.

- Voddie Baucham

http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/27_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families_2.html

35 Reasons Not To Sin

Great for us all to consider…go over these with your older children.

1. Because a little sin leads to more sin.
2. Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
3. Because the time spent in sin is forever wasted.
4. Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
5. Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
6. Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
7. Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
8. Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
9. Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
10. Because my sin saddens the godly.
11. Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
12. Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained when in reality I have lost.
13. Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
14. Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
15. Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
16. Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
17. Because my sin may influence others to sin.
18. Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
19. Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
20. Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
21. Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
22. Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
23. Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
24. Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
25. Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
26. Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
27. Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
28. Because my sin is adultery with the world.
29. Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
30. Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
31. Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
32. Because to sin is not to love Christ.
33. Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
34. Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it is worth anything on it’s own.
35. Because I promised God he would be Lord of my life.

Relinquish Your Rights – Reject the Sin – Renew the Mind – Rely on God

Copyright © 1992 Jim Elliff
Christian Communicators Worldwide, Inc.
201 Main, Parkville, MO 64152 USA
www.CCWtoday.org
Permission granted for not-for-sale reproduction in exact form including copyright
Other uses require written permission. Write for additional materials.

Troy gets it…

For all of you Steeler fans out there, here is a Christian father who also is a world champion…

    

Football is a given: How was this year’s Super Bowl experience versus XL? Tomlin versus Cowher? Goals for the coming season?

Fatherhood is new in Polamalu’s life since the birth of his son, Paisios, named after a beloved contemporary Greek Orthodox monastic, Elder Paisios, on Oct. 31, 2008. Has daddy-dom been life-changing? Will he encourage his son to play professional sports? How’s that beautiful new mom doing?

And last but not least: Faith. In order to properly meet Polamalu where he lives, this is the requisite, the grounding force that gives meaning to everything he does, every play he makes. Polamalu’s evident gratitude to the one who made him is marbled throughout our talk – from his training regime to his travels to Mount Athos, a monastic site in Greece, a place he calls “heaven on earth.”

While he has a reputation for being one of the NFL’s fiercest players, Polamalu would prefer “Tasmanian angel” over “Tasmanian devil” because his ball game is about glorifying God. “Football is part of my life but not life itself,” he says. “Football doesn’t define me. It’s what I do [and] how I carry out my faith.”

Whether shooting a Coke Zero commercial or running up the sand hills on Manhattan Beach to train – which he’s probably off to do after this interview – Polamalu, 27, is refreshingly modest and introspective, choosing his words as precisely as he picks his spots on the gridiron. He’s intense when the occasion calls for it, and reveals with ease the depth of his character while philosophizing about matters outside the huddle. At the same time, there’s a lightness about Polamalu that gives you the impression that he’s not taking himself or his high-profile lifestyle too seriously.

Even after the Steelers gave him the biggest contract in team history, more than $30 million, extending him through 2011, nothing major has changed in the Polamalus’ lives. They’re still in the same house. He still trains with the same trainer. The number of commercial endorsements has increased as his popularity has soared, but Polamalu is cautious not to let this encroach on family time. The Polamalus live simply and quietly.

 

on Fatherhood…

 Has becoming a father changed your life?
I think becoming a parent encourages people to change their lives, but even before I was a father, I had an interest in bettering myself as a husband and as a person. The intensity is greater when you have a child, but I’ve always tried to be conscious of myself. In that sense, not much has changed in how I view my life. Obviously there’s another member of our family. The cool thing is that I’m able to bring my son when I work out, so training takes a lot longer!

Eight months old and already training?
Yeah, he sits and watches me. I think it’s important for a child to see his parents work. One day, God willing, he’ll be able to see a nice house, a nice car, good food – things that I didn’t have growing up. It’s important for him to realize that these things are obtained first of all through the grace of God but also through hard work. I come from [a childhood] where I would put every condiment imaginable on my cheeseburger just so I could feel more full. There’s value in that struggle. Parents don’t want their kids to experience that, but honestly I want my kid to experience that. I think parents have a tendency to give their kids everything they didn’t have. In turn, they grow up lacking important qualities – like courage and perseverance. If you grow up with any type of wealth or anything that is just given to you, you [may] lack these qualities. But first of all, it’s most important for Paisios to have a spiritual foundation.

You view your parental role as being a role model spiritually as well?
As a parent, I don’t want to talk out of both sides of my mouth; I don’t want to act a certain way and be another way. Not everybody has a material struggle, but everyone has a spiritual struggle. So with my son, it’s important for him to first understand the spiritual struggle and, as a result of that, know how to [deal with] the physical struggles that he has in his life – whether it’s dealing with not enough or too much of something.

So it’s a matter of being an example?
I think talking is overrated. Anybody in the world can talk about doing anything. The hardest thing is to do it. It’s important for my son to understand, for example, why we pray, why we go to church. It’s important for him to grow up in an atmosphere of watching us do it, to understand that nothing is given to you in life. Everything must be worked at in order to be obtained – whether it’s something material or it’s salvation.

If Paisios had the calling to become an Orthodox priest and not a fullback, you’d be elated?
Of course. Obviously the [athletic] pedigree is there in my family and my wife’s [and] people give me a hard time: “Troy, man, what if your son’s not a good athlete, or he grows up and he’s not big?” But I say, “How big do you need to be in order to be a priest?”

You’re not saying, “I want my son to grow up and be an athlete.”
No, not at all. I would like him to play sports because there are important lessons to be learned through sports – those qualities of perseverance, courage, hard work and ethics.

How is your wife, Theodora, adjusting to being a mom?
Oh, she’s the best. It’s given me a whole new perspective on my wife. Obviously, she’s had a lot of responsibility in dealing with me and my inadequacies. But now, to watch her wake up every night and feed him . . . you know, as a mother, you kind of give up your whole life. Obviously, I’m able to still do what I do. I play football. I do things that surround football. I get to train.

Some dads are naturals and others don’t know how to react once the baby is home. Do you feel comfortable in this role?
Oh yeah. I want to feed him, play with him, do all those fun dad things. We go swimming in the ocean. He’s crawling, but he’s not surfing yet.

Do you do diapers?
Oh, I hand him off to Grandma for that.

What is your greatest wish for your child?
Without a question, my greatest wish would be for him to understand the spiritual struggle and to be a pious Orthodox Christian. That’s what I want for myself, as well. Sometimes parents want their children to be what they never were. And that’s one thing that I am gracious for Paisios to have: that he’s able to grow up in the Orthodox church around monastics and priests that I was never able to experience as a kid – to grasp that, not take it for granted and really culture that.

Rest of the article is at

http://www.wqed.org/mag/features/0809/troy-polamalu-pittsburgh-steelers-safety.php

“An Open Letter to the Men of Good Shepherd”

Brothers,

The recent events surrounding the unfaithfulness and lying of the Governor of South Carolina have elicited many responses from the public. There have been cries of outrage and disgust tempered by attitudes of tacit acceptance of his behavior. The response of Christians seems to be one of either moral outrage and shock or sober reflection. Christian women are looking at their husbands with the question either expressed or unexpressed being, “you’re not like that, are you?”

How do we respond to these events in light of the truth of the Gospel and the frailty of our flesh? Let me suggest a few ways not to respond as a prelude:

Let us not respond to the Governor’s sinfulness with outrage that belies the truth that “there but for the grace of God go I.” Every man is an adulterer if we take Jesus seriously in Matthew 5:28. We all have it within us to cross the line that was crossed by the Governor. I do not mean that we all face the temptation of lust and unfaithfulness in the same way; I do mean that we each have the same sin-filled heart that needs the cross of Christ. We also can be tempted by the evil one, the father of lies to sin in spite of our love for Jesus and our families.

Let us not respond to the Governor’s actions with promises of our own efforts or faithfulness. Each and every wife wants to know that her husband is incapable of the deception that is now public. We cannot make that assertion apart from a measure of pride that might just cometh before the fall. It is much more appropriate to re-affirm our love and commitment to Jesus Christ – a great Saviour and our trust in His greatness not our own.

So how then do we respond?

Let us respond with repentance…Jesus speaks of the gift of repentance and the need to continually repent. May the Holy Spirit show us our sin and the subtle deceptions present in our lives and cause us to repent. Remember the Governor had a female confidant other than his wife for seven years before he fell physically. He was already an adulterer. Where are you allowing small sins to live in your heart or in your relationships? Are you looking at images or building false trusts with women other than your wife? Repent.

Let us respond with prayer…We do not have the power in and of ourselves to help ourselves. We must trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to “lead us not into temptation.” Our response must be to pray for God’s strength and God’s wisdom to reign in our lives. Men need to seek each other for prayers for strength and encouragement. Where are we relying on our own strength and not on the Cross of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit? Pray.

Let us join together for accountability…When I return from vacation, I will be initiating some accountability groups for men at Good Shepherd. Each man needs to have other men who hold him accountable and to whom he can confess. The Bible encourages us that “iron sharpens iron” and that a “cord of three strands is not easily broken.” We must bear one another’s burdens if we are to be the Body of Christ. Satan seeks out the isolated (like our Governor and other leaders) just like a shark seeks out the isolated dolphin to attack. Where are we isolated in our lives from other brothers? Accountability.

Brothers, the next Men’s Hike is in October 22-25. Please consider walking with us for your soul’s sake and for the sake of your marriage. If there is any way that I can help you as your pastor, please let me know. The following 10 rules for purity were helpful for me and were sent to me by my wife after the Governor’s confession.

The 10 Commandments of Purity

1. I shall have no other human relationship before my wife, including our children.
2. I shall remember our date night and keep it holy.
3. I shall honor my wife on anniversaries and special days so that I may live long in the land the Lord has given me.
4. I shall not take the covenant of marriage in vain.
5. I shall not ride in a car or eat in a restaurant alone with a member of the opposite sex.
6. I shall not travel alone.
7. I shall not counsel a woman with the doors closed unless there is a window.
8. I shall not share the details of our marriage with others.
9. I shall not watch, read or expose myself to sexually explicit shows, books, websites, etc.
10. I shall remember the implications of committing adultery.

Humbly,

Shay +

Leaving a Legacy

      In the age we now live in, we are able to do what we do faster than in previous ages.   Innovation has dramatically changed the speed at which we live.  Travel, communication, and food preparation speed are a few of the major advancements we have made as a collective humanity in the last 2000 years.   However, people have been traveling, communicating, and preparing food since our beginning.   What we have improved is the speed at which we complete the tasks.  Our new speed should give us extra time.  But who would say they have “extra time?”   I am not saying we should revert to an earlier time or even that we should sacrifice efficiency,  just that we should examine what it is that we are striving after in a way that causes us to shave every possible second off of our daily tasks.  What I am asking, in simpler terms, is “What is the point of all this toiling? or What difference can we hope to make on earth?”  

         King Solomon states this same question thousands of years ago in Ecclesiastes 1.

2 Vanity [2] of vanities, says the Preacher,
vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
3 What does man gain by all the toil
at which he toils under the sun?
4 A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens [3] to the place where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
7 All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
8 All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.” 

    So, we have this downer of a passage written by a very wise man, who was King of God’s people, and who was himself close to God.   Unfortunately these words are as true today as they were thousands of years ago.  Nothing that we do will last much beyond our own life.  So, if nothing lasts, then there is no point to our work.   There is an inherent need in people to leave something after themselves, to contribute in some way, to leave a legacy.   Even Solomon, who is still remembered today, shows his remorse for his inability to affect the world.   However, very close to the end of this same book, Solomon does find a purpose for us and for himself.  We do have a goal in life, a mission that makes life worthwhile.  Chapter 23:13  ”The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.”  

     Lucky for us, there is life after death.  God has raised us to life eternal through his son Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as atonement for sin.  So, we do not have to rush around consumed with squeezing the meaning out of 90 years on earth. 

       Yet, there is a way we can leave a legacy that will change the world.  There is a task we can busy ourselves with that will ultimately be of consequence.   We can pass our faith on to our children.   Our children will continue to live beyond us.  If they stay grounded in the faith we will be reunited with them again in the unity of God in heaven.   More so, if our children stay in the faith AND raise their own children in the faith and so on, then we do have an earthly legacy that will long outlive our earthly bodies.  We become the patriarchs and matriarchs of generations of Christians.  Even if we have no children, we can disciple young Christians and play a role in the continuation of faith in Jesus Christ.  

     It is no coincidence that our “lasting work” on earth is linked to our eternal life in heaven.  Fullness of life comes from faith in Christ as does salvation and eternal life.  One is the earthly reward of faith and one is the heavenly reward.  

     I am not saying that other aspects of life and noble goals are meaningless.  Let me give you an example.  Discovering a cure for cancer is argueably one of the greatest contributions that a person can still make to humanity.  Ridding us of cancer would be a lasting legacy that would grant longer life to millions of people.   We would all rejoice greatly to the news of a cure.  However, in a choice between extended life and eternal life, I would choose eternal.   Luckily, no one will have to choose between cancer research and evangelism.  Hopefully, plenty of both are happening this moment.  Yet, even the greatest earthly things that we can pour our efforts into, They are not more meaningful or long lasting that passing on the faith in God our Father. 

     If you want your life to have meaning.  If you want to leave a lasting legacy on earth.  If you want to be a part of something more than you see in front of you, then bring up your children in the faith in a way that begins a tradition of faith for generations.   Make something “new under the sun” in your family.  

-Jamie 

 

 

A Strong Summary

Excerpt from Light and Heat a blog byM. Jay Bennett, Assistant Pastor at Twin Oaks Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Ballwin, MO.

EAL-LIFE FAMILY MINISTRY

       The sweetest times are when my wife, son, and I gather on the couch for family worship. We keep it simple, but simplicity can be rich. Last night we enjoyed such a time. Just before we gathered, I heard my son asking Mama for some water. He had been playing hard, and he was thirsty. So I thought, gotcha! I poured a glass of water and brought it to the couch. Then I opened my Bible to John 4:13-14 and read the text: “Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’” I explained to my son that Jesus is like water for us when we are thirsty. But the water he gives quenches our thirst forever. The water he gives us is eternal life. My son responded, “I want some of that water.” From that point we had a good few minutes (which is an eternity for a three year-old) of discussion about the gospel. Then we closed in prayer and sang “Jesus Loves Me This I Know.” It was a sweet time.

       Family worship is something I cherish. Neither my wife nor I grew up in families where there was regular worship time, so it has been somewhat difficult for us to get in the habit of it. Now we are beginning to form the habit.  I fundamentally believe the family unit is the central front in Christian education and development. Remember the shema. “Hear, O Israel: The Lordour God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:4-7). God relates to his covenant people in family units, each of which gathers with others in particular geographical locations to constitute an expression of the visible church on earth.

Today I was encouraged to read a summary of Tim Jones’ seminar at the Children Desiring God conference. Here’s an excerpt:

 

Doing Family Ministry: Real-Life Ministry Models for Real-Life Churches

God commands us in the Scriptures to make the family the fundamental context of discipleship (Deuteronomy 6:4-8; Malachi 4:6; Ephesians 6:4).

Problems in the Church with Family Ministry

Parents, especially fathers, have become disengaged from the task of discipling children.

Most churches have not consistently expected or prepared parents to disciple their own children.

Adolescence is perceived as a developmental ideal instead of as a period of preparation for mature adulthood. It’s a recent social construction in which responsibility is minimized and indulgence is maximized, and a lot of our church models have been built around it.

What Do These Problems Look Like?

The youth group is barely connected to the congregation.

The separate aspects of the church’s family ministries operate in relative isolation from one another.

What Needs to Change?

Every church is called to some form of family ministry. This doesn’t mean just adding one more program.  Rather, family ministry is the process of intentionally and persistently realigning a congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents—and especially fathers—are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as the persons primarily responsible for the discipling of their children.

http://www.mjaybennett.com/2009/02/real-life-family-ministry.html#links

 

The sweetest times are when my wife, son, and I gather on the couch for family worship. We keep it simple, but simplicity can be rich.  Last night we enjoyed such a time. Just before we gathered, I heard my son asking Mama for some water. He had been playing hard, and he was thirsty. So I thought, gotcha! I poured a glass of water and brought it to the coach.  Then I opened my Bible to John 4:13-14 and read the text: “Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. the water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”‘ I explained to my son that Jesus is like water for us when we are thirsty. But the water he gives quenches our thirst forever. The water he gives us is eternal life.  My son responded, “I want some of that water.” From that point we had a good few minutes (which is an eternity for a three year-old) of discussion about the gospel. Then we closed in prayer and sang “Jesus Loves Me This I Know.” It was a sweet time. 

      Family worship is something I cherish.  Neither my wife nor I grew up in families where there was regular worship time, so it has been somewhat difficult for us to get in the habit of it.  Now we are beginning to form the habit. I fundamentally believe the family unit is the central front of Chrisitan education and development.  Remember the shema.  ”Here, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your sould and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:4-7). God relates to his covenant people in family units, each of which gathers with others in particular geographical locations to constitute an expression of the visible church on earth. 

Today I was encouraged to read a summary of Tim Jones’ seminar at the Children Desiring God conference.  Here is an excerpt:

Doing Family Ministry: Real-Life Ministry Models for Real-Life Churches

God commands us in the Sciptures to make the family the findamental context of discipleship (Deuteronomy 6:4-8; Malachi 4:6; Ephesians 6:4).

Problems in the Church with Family Ministry

1. Parents, especially fathers, have become disengaged from the tast of of discipling children. 

2. Most churches have not consistently expected or prepared parents to disciple their own children. 

3. Adolescence is perceived as a developmental ideal instead of as a period of preparation for mature adulthood. It’s recent social constuction in which responsibility is minimized and indulgence is maximized, and a lot of our church models have been built around it. 

What Do These Problems Look Like?

• The youth group is barely connected to the congregation.
• The separate aspects of the church’s family ministires operate in relative isolation from one another. 

What Needs to Change?

Every church is called to some form of family ministry.  This doesn’t mean just adding one more program. Rather, family ministry is the process of intentionally and persistently realigning a congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents – especially fathers – are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as the persons primarily responcible for the discipling of their own children.