What are practical ways to involve and teach your preschoolers during your family devotional times (ie: morning pray/read/sing)?

A Word of Warning

First, let me say that I do not believe in ‘dumbing down’ family worship (or the worship of the church for that matter) for small children.  We aim our family worship at Mom, Dad, and our older children (nineteen and sixteen), while recognizing the need to bring the younger children (five, two, one, and newborn) along.  Our philosophy is simple; our younger children do not need to be entertained, they need to be taught.  They need to see a picture of family worship that calls them upward.

This is a bit of a departure from the current child-centered philosophy dominating the burgeoning family worship movement.  In that sense, there’s some good news, and some bad news.  The good news is people are waking up to this crucial practice.  The bad news is people are viewing this practice through the lens of the current watered-down worship environment of modern evangelicalism, and worse, the media-driven, high-energy, world-mimicking, “KidZone” experience of the modern Children’s Church.  As a result, parents are trying to compete with the entertainment culture and capture the attention of their preschoolers on a daily basis.  STOP!  This is insane.  You can’t compete with Barney and Sesame Street (or KidZone); nor should you try.

Worship is not about entertainment.  Worship is a solemn encounter.  Sure, there are times when we have powerful, emotional encounters with God.  However, those are not the norm.  And when we try to make that the norm, we miss a very important truth.  Spiritual Disciplines are just that… Disciplines!  We don’t pray because it’s fun; we do it because it’s necessary (1 Ths. 5:17; Lk 18:1).  We don’t read Scripture because it’s enthralling (though it can be at times); we read Scripture because our souls need to feed on something more than bread (Matthew 4:4).  We don’t believe every meal needs to be a grand feast, do we?  Unfortunately, somebody told us that worship should be ‘exciting’ and ‘fun’ and we believed them.  The fact is, sometimes worship is boring, and that’s alright.  Dinner is boring sometimes too, but we still need to eat (by the way, catering all our meals to preschoolers’ likes and dislikes would be quite unhealthy as well).

We have created a generation of children who think everything is supposed to be ‘fun’ and the results are tragic.  Don’t fall into that same trap with family worship.  If our children think reading, singing, and praying is boring, the problem is not with those practices; the problem is with the appetites we’ve created in our children.  Are they watching too much TV?  Are they being over-stimulated by electronics and video games?  Are they spending time during a typical day learning the discipline of sitting quietly for a while?  Are they spending Sunday morning in something resembling a television studio shooting an episode of the latest kid’s show?

We will never have meaningful family worship if we don’t unplug.  Christianity is in many ways a quiet, contemplative, meditative, religion.  Listening to God’s word requires concentration and discipline.  Singing biblical, theologically driven songs requires paying attention.  Prevailing in prayer requires perseverance.  How do we expect this from children whose entire religious foundation is built upon entertainment?  Ironically, one of the most important things small children learn in family worship is the discipline of ‘sitting through’ something that is not necessarily entertaining.

Now that that’s out of the way… here are some helpful hints for those who, like me, have young children in the home and want family worship to be meaningful for them.

A Few Helpful Hints

1.Keep It Simple

Remember, family worship is not an attempt to reproduce at home what we get in church each week.  In other words, Dad doesn’t need to prepare a “sermon” each morning, and you don’t have to sing five or six songs.  Our goal is simply to honor God and transmit a faith-filled .  As such, we simply need to read together, sing together, and pray together (some add catechism, however, other families do catechism as part of their ‘education’ each day).  Remember, we’re not replacing what happens in church; we’re supplementing, and strengthening it.  As Richard Baxter has aptly said:

We must have a special eye upon families, to see that they are well ordered, and the duties of each relation performed. The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both the Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all. What are we like to do ourselves to the reforming of a congregation, if all the work be cast on us alone; and masters of families neglect that necessary duty of their own, by which they are bound to help us? If any good be begun by the ministry in any soul, a careless, prayer-less, worldly family is likely to stifle it, or very much hinder it; whereas, if you could but get the rulers of families to do their duty, to take up the work where you left it, and help it on, what abundance of good might be done! I beseech you, therefore, if you desire the reformation and welfare of your people, do all you can to promote family religion. (Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor)

2.More is Caught Than Taught

Small children usually learn to love what Mom and Dad love.  Show me a ten year-old who loves the Texas Longhorns, and I’ll show you a parent who had him in front of the TV (or on the fifty yard line in Austin) when he was smaller.  Moreover, show me a parent who views daily family worship as drudgery and I’ll show you a kid who probably thinks the same.  This is not to say we have to be fake, or that we have to make our family worship artificially “exciting” in order to appease our kids.  It is, however, to say that we must buy in to this.  We need to have a passion for the God of the gospel and a desire to honor him in our homes.  As Arthur Pink has written:

If we would enjoy the blessing of God upon our family, then let its members gather together daily for praise and prayer. ‘Them that honour Me I will honour” is His promise. (Arthur Pink, “Family Worship”)

This goes far beyond emotion.  Nor is this unique to family worship.  We see this in the worship of the church as well.  There is a difference between a family that is committed to the worship of almighty God and one that will let any and everything get in the way of gathering with God’s people on the Lord’s Day.

Thus, the place to start with family worship is our own motives.  We must be motivated by a love for God, and a desire to express that love daily in our homes, and see our children do the same.  Go before God in prayer and ask him to bend your heart toward his.  Beg him for a passion for the gospel and a yearning to proclaim and celebrate it.  Without this, we will have little hope of creating a winsome environment for our children.

3.Small Children Need Repetition

If you have small children, you know one of their favorite phrases is, “Do it again!”  Children thrive on repetition.  Family worship is no different.  Our little boys love to do the same things over and over each day.  It helps them feel like they are a real part of what’s going on.  When we sing the Doxology EVERY MORNING, it helps my two year-old look forward to doing something he knows long before he can pronounce, let alone understand the words.  When we keep our same “order of worship” (read a passage, make observations, make applications, sing a song, pray, sing the Doxology), it helps our young children jump in and participate.  In fact, it creates a sense of uniformity for them.  They say things like, “Dad

We also incorporate a few strategic things that help our smaller children.  For example, we keep the format the same each day.  Also, we sing one song for an entire month (and no, it is not a “children’s song;” we sing meaty hymns).  Doing so helps our smaller children learn the words.

4.Don’t Neglect Discipline

Our children are sinners.  As such, they are going to display their sin nature regardless of the setting.  Engaging in family worship will not eliminate this reality.  As such, we must discipline our children consistently, even during family worship.  Some parents believe that correction is somehow incompatible with worship.  They reason, “I don’t want to force my child to worship God,” or similarly, “I don’t want them to remember family worship as a time when they were spanked, since it may cause them to have a warped view of God.”

I understand where this is coming from.  However, it is misguided.  Our children need to know that all discipline is about God.  They need to know that we correct them because God says so.  They need to know that the worship of God is no less serious than their school time, or their meal time, or any other time.  Do we avoid discipline at the dinner table, or the schoolroom because we don’t want our children to have bad experiences there?  In fact, what place is there for correction if we take this position?  Is there some place where you do want your children to have this supposed traumatic experience?  It makes no sense.  Much of the difficulty involved with doing family worship with preschoolers comes down to this very simple issue.  Undisciplined children don’t do very well in situations that require discipline.

In short, we must treat family worship like an essential, normal, non-negotiable part of our lives.  We cannot have the attitude that it is something we will do as long as the children “like it.”  We must view it in the same way we view breakfast, or dinner.  Dinner is not always easy with preschoolers.  Nevertheless, we persevere because we know they cannot survive without it.   The same is true of spiritual food.  Have an unwavering attitude; not one that goes along grudgingly, but one that views nothing more highly than the God of the gospel.  Have an attitude that pursues God relentlessly because you know nothing else will satisfy.  Have an attitude that keeps the gospel before your children because you know it is their greatest need.

This attitude will eventually bear fruit both in your life and in theirs.  Early on that fruit may be nothing more than seeing your children walk through the motions and learn things by rote.  Moreover, there may be days when they are less than enthusiastic.  Eventually, though, they will get the hang of it and their participation will improve.  Then one day, out of the blue, you’ll look at them and realize they own it.  Will it become their passion?  Perhaps.  However, that’s not your department.  Your job is merely to give them the necessary tools and the disciplines, and model what you hope they will embrace.

By the way, if you have a problem with what I just described, answer one question… what would your attitude be if the previous paragraph was attached to a blog about teaching your child to read?

VB (Vodie Baucham)

For more tips on family worship, see my section on the subject in Family Driven Faith:  Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters who Walk with God.

http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/11/5_Answering_Your_Questions.html

Hymns for Family Worship

This Advent I was reminded of something that I have done unwittingly that has benefitted the spiritual growth of my children. Probably five years ago, we incorporated singing into our family prayer time. In order to help the children learn the different seasons of the church, we used familiar hymns that we sang together.

The result this Advent is that I realized my daughters could identify the Liturgical Seasons by the hymns we sing. We usually learn just a verse and then sing it over and over with our family worship. I thought it might be helpful to list these hymns as a resource. The texts and music can be found in the 1982 Episcopal Hymnal or online at http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/82.html. Here they are by season.

Advent: "O Come O Come Emmanuel"
"On Jordan’s Bank the Baptist’s Cry"

Christmas: Any Christmas Hymn will work here. Our favorites are "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and "Go Tell It on the Mountains"

Epiphany: "We Three Kings"
"Songs of Thankfulness and Priase"

Lent: "Lord Who Throughout These 40 Days"

Holy Week: "Were you there"

Easter: "He is Risen, He is Risen"

Pentecost: "Hail thee Festival Day"

We also use plenty of camp songs and praise choruses, but these hymns anchor our children in the seasons of the church which teach us the life of Jesus.

Hope these might be a blessing to your family,
Shay +

16 Daddy Christmas Tips

’Tis the season for Dad to drop the holiday ball, stress out as the money is being spent for presents, and miss yet another providential opportunity to lovingly lead his family. So, this blog is intended to help dads not fall into the same old rut of holiday humdrum, sitting on the couch watching football and eating carbs, but rather intentionally plan out the upcoming holiday season. Our children grow quickly and if we miss the sacred moments God opens up for us to connect with and bless our families, everyone suffers and we set in motion generations of missed opportunity.

#1 – Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?

#2 – Dad needs to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family. In Seattle it’s here.

#3 – Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?

#4 – Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to begrumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?

#5 – Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memoriescan you make this holiday season?

#6 – Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?

#7 – Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?

#8 – Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?

#9 – Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?

#10 – Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?

#11 – Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?

#12 – Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?

#13 – Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?

#14 – Dad needs to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?

#15 – Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?

#16 – Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?

From Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church – http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2009/12/07/16-daddy-christmas-tips/

Reflections on an Accident

“Reflections on an Accident”

Brothers and Sisters,

That is what it was…an accident. The details are this: Wednesday afternoon leaving the church to meet a friend at T-Bonz for lunch, I came to the stop sign at the end of Miles Drive trying to turn left onto Hwy. 171. When I looked before I accelerated, I saw no one. A woman driving in the left lane headed in the same direction as I intended to go hit my rear passenger tire full force. The impact blew out the tire and I lost control of my truck. The truck swerved off of the road, over the sidewalk and into the ditch. Both the woman driver and I were miraculously well except for being shaken up. It was my fault.

Whenever events like this occur, I believe that it is important to reflect on the meaning. Here are some reflections from your grateful rector:

Why I was prepared to die: Because of Jesus Christ’s shed blood on the Cross, all my sins are forgiven and I have a place in God’s family for all eternity. Whether I live or die, I am Christ’s.

Why I was not ready to die: Tara, Ann Claire, Mary Foster, Eliza, Cate, Mom and Dad, my sisters, nieces and nephews, parents in law, sisters in law, friends, The Church of the Good Shepherd, the work at Camp St. Christopher, Ministry in the West Ashley Community and the Diocese of South Carolina.

What I learned about me: I am not careful enough when I drive. I should have been wearing my seatbelt and paying more attention. My faults and shortcomings greatly affect the lives of others. I am a sinner. Many people care about me and my life (thanks to all who knew about the wreck and said so). I am loved.

**What I learned but already knew about God: He is good! He is full of grace. His hand is mighty to save. He is sovereign and in control of all things. He loves his children. When I got out of my truck and climbed out of the ditch, I realized that the oak tree that rested against my truck was just inches from impacting my door and only a foot from being head-on. I knew that the Lord had saved me (as He is doing always and everyday). The fact that I suffered no physical injuries is a sign of the love of God in the life of a sinful servant.

God loves you this much too. We have much for which to be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Shay +

My 3rd Adopted Daughter

Many of you who know the Gaillards know that we have four daughters, but what you might not know is that we also have just adopted our third daughter. When we entered seminary, the Lord showed me that if my oldest daughter’s life was going to be world-focused and not just provincial, we had to begin to make connections beyond the USA. I had worked with Compassion as a youth minister and knew the trustworthiness of their ministry. My wife and I decided together that we would adopt for our daughters a sister in the Dominican Republic on their 5th birthday. They would write and pray for this Dominican child who in each case is very near their age. My promise to them is that I would take them to the DR to visit their sister when they were old enough. When they begin to work, they will be responsible for paying part of the sponsorship. In the meantime, this was a great discipline for my wife and me:  not just raising children in the wealth of the USA but committing ourselves financially and prayerfully to raise children out of poverty in the name of Jesus Christ.

My #3 daughter turns 5 in November, my wife and I have just sponsored Maria on behalf of Eliza. My eyes filled with tears and my heart was grateful that the Lord had once again allowed us to show His love to someone in need. My older daughters have started secretly praying for Maria when Eliza is not around so as not to spoil the surpise. I cannot wait to introduce Eliza to Maria on November 23.

At Good Shepherd, we are seeking to raise a generation of “World-changing Children.” One simple way to do that is to sponsor a child through Compassion.  If every Christian sponsored one child per family, what a different world it would be!

What a joy,
Shay +

Five Causes of Anger

Some parents have a hard time analyzing their anger to get anything positive out of it. A helpful way to uncover whats behind your anger is to recognize angers five basic causes. These five causes overlap at points and you may find that the situation youre experiencing fits more than one, but this list is often helpful to bring some rationale to feelings. Use these causes to guide your self-reflection when you start to feel angry and then move into a more healthy response.

1. Physical Pain – When a child hits you or you step on a sharp toy, your anger may, in part, be fueled by the physical pain you experience.

2. Blocked Goals – Trying to leave the house by 7:35 am and turning to see that your three-year-old took her shoes off again can lead to anger.

3. Violated Rights – When her five-year-old is knocking on the bathroom door, a mom may feel angry and think, I have the right to go to the bathroom in peace. A dad may believe that he has a right to come home and have a few minutes to relax in quiet before taking on family problems

4. Unfairness – When a mom sees a big brother picking on his sister, or a younger child harassing an older one, she may get angry because of the obvious unfairness of the situation. A dad may feel its unfair that he has to help bathe the kids after putting in a hard days work.

5. Unmet Expectations – A mom might say, I expected to arrive home from work to cook dinner, but instead I come home to this mess! Unmet expectations seem to go along with the job of parenting but often result in angry feelings.

Discovering what is causing your angry feelings will often help you see where your child needs to grow or change, giving you more insight into how to discipline most effectively. Understanding the five causes of anger can help you as you relate to your family.

Each time you feel angry, stop for a minute and try to identify which of these is the cause. Putting a label on your feelings may help you redirect some of that energy to a more productive response. You may begin to see patterns in yourself and identify one particular cause that is more common for you. This observation can help you know how to adjust your reaction.

This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

I’m taking Fatherhood 101, and a seminar in Human Husbandry…

So they don’t teach you how to be a father or a husband in school…

Yet, most women become wives and mothers, and most men become husbands and fathers.   Where do they learn the skills, goals, techniques and requirements?  You guessed it, from watching their parents mostly.

Do you remember your reaction when material that you didn’t think would be on the test, is on the test?   Isn’t that the same thing that happens to everyone upon becoming parents?

“You mean when I was being raised, I was supposed to be absorbing parenting simply by watching my parents like a hawk as they were parenting me?”  …”I didn’t know this would be on the test!”

The action most new parents take is also similar to a student suddenly realizing they are under-prepared.

1. Cram..Buy a parenting book (or a bunch)

2. Phone a friend… (call your parents and ask for a crash course)

3. Wing it! – do the best you can with what you know

There is a better way.

As parents, you can teach your children what it means to be a wife or husband.  You can teach them what it means to be a mother or father.  It takes preparation, it takes effort, and it takes words.  There is more to learning than modeling.  Modeling the best practices is a wonderful and important thing for you to do, however, taking your children aside and talking about what they will do when they are a spouse or a parent is what is missing.  They don’t teach that in schools.  Currently, they don’t teach it in homes either.

The job of preparing children for life falls to parents.  Please consider how to best prepare them for the most important jobs in life.

-Jamie Sosnowski

The Church is a family of families

Every person is a part of a family.  There are single adults who come to our churches alone and live hundreds, or thousands of miles away from the rest of their family. Nevertheless, they have a family.  Moreover, we all have responsibilities to and opportunities within our families.  Through the ‘family of families’ concept, we are merely trying ot impress upon people the importance of viewing the home as the primary launching pad for the gospel in everyday life.

Whether it is daily family worship, the education of our children in the home, or the ministry of hospitality (with a view toward sharing the gospel with our neighbors in the context of our homes), we use the ‘family of families’ concept to help people understand that the church is not a building where people go to meet; nor is it an organization charged with the evangelization of the nations. On the contrary, the church is a body of believers, all of whom come from, live in, and/or will more than likely establish…families.  What a great tool for spreading the gospel:

Parents, children, servants, slaves, visitors, relatives and friends all heard the gospel preached in the environment of the home, and there Paul generally made his first converts… The first and most basic lessons concerning the nature of the church as the household of God (Gal. 6:10; Eph. 2:19) were taught at the very beginning of the Pauling mission in each city as the faith was planted in the extended family of the Greek household.  There, along God-appointed covenant lines, the gospel could travel its swiftest course until even distant relatives might be converted.  (Greenway & Monsma)

There has only been one man in history who did not have a family.  Interestingly, this man’s ‘aloneness’ was the occasion upon which God first used the phrase, “it is not good…” (Genesis 2:18) Moreover, God soon remedied Adam’s aloneness by making “a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). Since then, we have all been born into families.

As a church, we simply prefer this ‘biblical’ category to the ones forced upon us by the culture. Thus, if we have to choose between a structure that resembles the modernist, secular humanist government education system (divided by age/clique in a Sunday “school”) and the one found everywhere in Scripture, we choose the latter; not as an attempt to redefine the nature and essense of the church, but simply to reassess its structure. All of this is done with a view toward fulfulling the Great Commission with the greatest possible fidelity to the text.  If our ‘family of families’ terminology has communicated anything else, please forgive us.

- Voddie Baucham

http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/3/27_Is_the_church_A_Family_of_Families_2.html

35 Reasons Not To Sin

Great for us all to consider…go over these with your older children.

1. Because a little sin leads to more sin.
2. Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
3. Because the time spent in sin is forever wasted.
4. Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
5. Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
6. Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
7. Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
8. Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
9. Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
10. Because my sin saddens the godly.
11. Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
12. Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained when in reality I have lost.
13. Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
14. Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
15. Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
16. Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
17. Because my sin may influence others to sin.
18. Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
19. Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
20. Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
21. Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
22. Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
23. Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
24. Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
25. Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
26. Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
27. Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
28. Because my sin is adultery with the world.
29. Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
30. Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
31. Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
32. Because to sin is not to love Christ.
33. Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
34. Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it is worth anything on it’s own.
35. Because I promised God he would be Lord of my life.

Relinquish Your Rights – Reject the Sin – Renew the Mind – Rely on God

Copyright © 1992 Jim Elliff
Christian Communicators Worldwide, Inc.
201 Main, Parkville, MO 64152 USA
www.CCWtoday.org
Permission granted for not-for-sale reproduction in exact form including copyright
Other uses require written permission. Write for additional materials.

Troy gets it…

For all of you Steeler fans out there, here is a Christian father who also is a world champion…

    

Football is a given: How was this year’s Super Bowl experience versus XL? Tomlin versus Cowher? Goals for the coming season?

Fatherhood is new in Polamalu’s life since the birth of his son, Paisios, named after a beloved contemporary Greek Orthodox monastic, Elder Paisios, on Oct. 31, 2008. Has daddy-dom been life-changing? Will he encourage his son to play professional sports? How’s that beautiful new mom doing?

And last but not least: Faith. In order to properly meet Polamalu where he lives, this is the requisite, the grounding force that gives meaning to everything he does, every play he makes. Polamalu’s evident gratitude to the one who made him is marbled throughout our talk – from his training regime to his travels to Mount Athos, a monastic site in Greece, a place he calls “heaven on earth.”

While he has a reputation for being one of the NFL’s fiercest players, Polamalu would prefer “Tasmanian angel” over “Tasmanian devil” because his ball game is about glorifying God. “Football is part of my life but not life itself,” he says. “Football doesn’t define me. It’s what I do [and] how I carry out my faith.”

Whether shooting a Coke Zero commercial or running up the sand hills on Manhattan Beach to train – which he’s probably off to do after this interview – Polamalu, 27, is refreshingly modest and introspective, choosing his words as precisely as he picks his spots on the gridiron. He’s intense when the occasion calls for it, and reveals with ease the depth of his character while philosophizing about matters outside the huddle. At the same time, there’s a lightness about Polamalu that gives you the impression that he’s not taking himself or his high-profile lifestyle too seriously.

Even after the Steelers gave him the biggest contract in team history, more than $30 million, extending him through 2011, nothing major has changed in the Polamalus’ lives. They’re still in the same house. He still trains with the same trainer. The number of commercial endorsements has increased as his popularity has soared, but Polamalu is cautious not to let this encroach on family time. The Polamalus live simply and quietly.

 

on Fatherhood…

 Has becoming a father changed your life?
I think becoming a parent encourages people to change their lives, but even before I was a father, I had an interest in bettering myself as a husband and as a person. The intensity is greater when you have a child, but I’ve always tried to be conscious of myself. In that sense, not much has changed in how I view my life. Obviously there’s another member of our family. The cool thing is that I’m able to bring my son when I work out, so training takes a lot longer!

Eight months old and already training?
Yeah, he sits and watches me. I think it’s important for a child to see his parents work. One day, God willing, he’ll be able to see a nice house, a nice car, good food – things that I didn’t have growing up. It’s important for him to realize that these things are obtained first of all through the grace of God but also through hard work. I come from [a childhood] where I would put every condiment imaginable on my cheeseburger just so I could feel more full. There’s value in that struggle. Parents don’t want their kids to experience that, but honestly I want my kid to experience that. I think parents have a tendency to give their kids everything they didn’t have. In turn, they grow up lacking important qualities – like courage and perseverance. If you grow up with any type of wealth or anything that is just given to you, you [may] lack these qualities. But first of all, it’s most important for Paisios to have a spiritual foundation.

You view your parental role as being a role model spiritually as well?
As a parent, I don’t want to talk out of both sides of my mouth; I don’t want to act a certain way and be another way. Not everybody has a material struggle, but everyone has a spiritual struggle. So with my son, it’s important for him to first understand the spiritual struggle and, as a result of that, know how to [deal with] the physical struggles that he has in his life – whether it’s dealing with not enough or too much of something.

So it’s a matter of being an example?
I think talking is overrated. Anybody in the world can talk about doing anything. The hardest thing is to do it. It’s important for my son to understand, for example, why we pray, why we go to church. It’s important for him to grow up in an atmosphere of watching us do it, to understand that nothing is given to you in life. Everything must be worked at in order to be obtained – whether it’s something material or it’s salvation.

If Paisios had the calling to become an Orthodox priest and not a fullback, you’d be elated?
Of course. Obviously the [athletic] pedigree is there in my family and my wife’s [and] people give me a hard time: “Troy, man, what if your son’s not a good athlete, or he grows up and he’s not big?” But I say, “How big do you need to be in order to be a priest?”

You’re not saying, “I want my son to grow up and be an athlete.”
No, not at all. I would like him to play sports because there are important lessons to be learned through sports – those qualities of perseverance, courage, hard work and ethics.

How is your wife, Theodora, adjusting to being a mom?
Oh, she’s the best. It’s given me a whole new perspective on my wife. Obviously, she’s had a lot of responsibility in dealing with me and my inadequacies. But now, to watch her wake up every night and feed him . . . you know, as a mother, you kind of give up your whole life. Obviously, I’m able to still do what I do. I play football. I do things that surround football. I get to train.

Some dads are naturals and others don’t know how to react once the baby is home. Do you feel comfortable in this role?
Oh yeah. I want to feed him, play with him, do all those fun dad things. We go swimming in the ocean. He’s crawling, but he’s not surfing yet.

Do you do diapers?
Oh, I hand him off to Grandma for that.

What is your greatest wish for your child?
Without a question, my greatest wish would be for him to understand the spiritual struggle and to be a pious Orthodox Christian. That’s what I want for myself, as well. Sometimes parents want their children to be what they never were. And that’s one thing that I am gracious for Paisios to have: that he’s able to grow up in the Orthodox church around monastics and priests that I was never able to experience as a kid – to grasp that, not take it for granted and really culture that.

Rest of the article is at

http://www.wqed.org/mag/features/0809/troy-polamalu-pittsburgh-steelers-safety.php